Friday, May 2, 2014 – 9:00PM – Leg 21/Day 33 – 43.2 Miles

A more perfect day could not be had. It was clear and cool in the morning, some clouds as the boat sailed north from Cape Hatteras, and a dusting of rain a little after I arrived. The sunset was gorgeous and the marina is top notch; cape style and beautiful. I think the open water today was a lot more fun as I could use the autopilot and not have to stress over the course too much. Being able to see the shores was a great relief too. Mostly light jacket weather with a little wind. So a few cups of coffee, some iced tea in the afternoon, and bourbon this evening to seal the longest set of legs to date. I have made it and I now intend on enjoying myself for the weekend.

Today allowed a lot of time for reflection and I spent a lot of time looking back on my life. More so than other days. I guess I'm not so different than other people who have had successes and failures, but that backstage view of one's life magnifies every event.

I dreamed I died last night. That is not so odd I suppose, except it is the first time that I ever remember dying in a dream. I was laying in bed on my side and someone was on the bed with me and I heard them say 'Is it time?'. I said 'yes, goodbye' and I faded into a humming sensation. I remember thinking that I finally get to meet Jesus and waited for the glory to start shining, but I woke up at that moment. I don't know who it was that was next to me, or what I died of, but it stayed with me all day. I guess as you get older your mortality catches you at odd times. If I do die that way, I guess that would be a good way to go.

I have had a wonderful life in so many ways. Having children was my crowning glory. They are everything to me. I never knew love until they came into my life. I never grew up and spending their youth with them left me as fulfilled as anything I could have ever done. I miss my babies so much and find myself crying at times over times long gone. But I love reminiscing and looking at old photos remembering kinder and gentler times. I've also made so many mistakes that should have destroyed me and some almost did. But here I am, doing the one thing that I have wanted to do for so long. Thank you God for the moments I have right now. It's time to close and call the girls.

Bless all those who take up space in my heart. Thank you all for your part in my life.